Forbidden
by Aggy
Summary: Wedge Antilles falls in love
1. Part 1

Title: Forbidden  
Author: Aggy aggity_ann@y...  
Characters: Wedge and female   
Type: AU/Romance/Angst  
Status: Complete!!!!  
Rating: Probably R...but let's go with NC17!!!  
Summary: Wedge falls in love.   
Feedback: Sure, but please don't ruin my fragile ego  
LOL  
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or its characters.   
(Dammit, I want to own Wedge after writing this!) but  
I do own the creativity that made this story. I'm not  
making any money but if Lucas would like to pay me...  
;o)  
Note: This story takes place before ANH. Wedge is about 19 years old.  
  
Forbidden  
Part 1  
//I toss and turn,   
I can't sleep  
Your kiss burns,   
Through my dreams…//  
  
"Deja Voodoo" Kenny Wayne Shepherd//  
She had kissed him. He couldn't believe that she'd  
kissed him. He shouldn't have done it, though he  
hadn't really had any choice in the matter. One  
minute they were laughing over some joke he had  
made…the next she was leaning towards him, her eyes  
half closed as if afraid to watch him pull away.  
  
He should have pulled away. But he couldn't. He had  
seemed hypnotized by her, by the contrast of dark  
lashes brushing against her blushing cheeks. By the  
fullness of her red lips. Then those full lips  
touched his in a kiss that was almost chaste. But the  
emotions sparked by the feeling of her mouth against  
his were anything but chaste.   
  
Wedge groaned as he felt himself react to the memory  
of her. He rolled over onto his side and tried not to  
think of how much he had wanted to pull her into his  
arms and…  
  
She was so damn beautiful. She had always been  
pretty, but now…now, she was absolutely stunning and  
seemed to be growing more beautiful with each passing  
day. Full breasts that strained the fabric of her  
jumpsuit, tempting him to….//Don't think about that.//  
Narrow waist flaring out to wide hips. Shapely legs  
that seemed far too long for someone her height. He  
wondered what it would be like to have those long legs  
wrapped around his waist as he…  
  
//Calm, Antilles, calm. Stop thinking about her. It  
was a joke. The kiss meant nothing. Just some  
strange little impulse that meant nothing to her. And  
should mean nothing to you.// He knew that was a  
thought lie as soon as it entered his mind. He had  
seen the desire in her eyes….  
  
Those wide, whiskey colored eyes that seemed to be  
able to read his very soul. She knew all of his  
secrets. Knew of how he had killed the men who were  
responsible for the deaths of his parents, and she had  
never looked at him with pity or with revulsion. Even  
knowing his darkest secrets, she still looked at him  
with compassion and love. Hell, if it had been HER  
father that had been killed, he KNEW she would've  
climbed into that Headhunter and blown the bastards  
into subatomic particles.   
  
She was definitely a woman who knew her own mind and  
didn't let anyone take advantage of her.   
  
That stubborn pride that she pretended was not part of  
her nature. He had always been drawn to that  
strength. More so after his parents had been  
slaughtered. The thought of his lost family quenched  
his desire, but it quickly renewed when he thought of  
all the times she had curled up next to him, as if SHE  
were the one that needed comforting. Silently  
offering him part of the strength that infused her,  
but never making him feel weak for accepting her gift.  
  
She was his closest friend, and Gods, he wanted to get  
so much closer. To feel her bare skin under his  
hands. To hear her screaming his name as he… "I HAVE  
to stop thinking about her!" he growled to himself,  
trying to force his fantasies from his mind.   
  
Wedge flopped onto his back, staring up at the  
ceiling, fighting a lost cause with his very active  
imagination. He threw his pillow over his head,  
painfully aware of how much he wanted the black-haired  
woman who had had the audacity to kiss him. //Gods,  
what's going to happen when HE finds out about the  
kiss?// Sighing into the pillow, he wished the bed  
would swallow him up. "Booster's going to KILL me!"  
# # #  
  
She had kissed him. She couldn't believe that she'd  
kissed him. She had kissed WEDGE ANTILLES. It was  
wrong. She shouldn't have done it. He was like a  
brother to her. And she KISSED HIM!   
  
It was WRONG! Wrong, wrong, wrong!   
  
It hadn't been that much of a kiss. She let out a  
frustrated sigh. //Liar, it was an INCREDIBLE kiss.//  
The contact had lasted only a few dozen beats of her  
racing heart, the gentle press of her mouth against  
his, but….Gods, his lips had felt wonderful against  
hers. Warm and soft with the potential to be…  
  
She rolled over, curling up in a ball as she began  
thinking about what Wedge could do with that mouth of  
his. //It's because he's forbidden. That's all. I  
can't have him so I want him. It's sort of disgusting  
on one level, but natural. He's male, I'm female.   
He's attractive…// She shivered against the warmth  
that thought generated. //Too attractive for his own  
damn good…// Mirax thought sourly. Wedge had always  
been handsome, at least to her. Lanky and lean. With  
intensity that….Another shiver ran down her spine.   
  
There had always been passion in Wedge, though most  
people never saw it. His quiet vitality always seemed  
to be eclipsed by the people around him, but her  
father saw it, as did his parents.   
  
Gods, he missed them. Sometimes she could feel his  
grief as if it were her own. That passion had  
increased tenfold since his parents were murdered. A  
passion that now took the form of flying. The only  
thing Wedge seemed to think he was good at.  
  
//I'm sure he'd be very good at a great many things…//  
  
"Sithspawn," she growled, flopping over onto her back  
to stare at the ceiling. //He's Wedge Antilles, my  
almost adopted brother. I cannot fantasize about him  
and those deep brown eyes…Oh gods, here I go again…//  
  
She had never thought of herself mooning over a pair  
of brown eyes. After all, her eyes were a boring  
shade of brown. But Wedge's eyes were deep, almost  
taking on a velvety color when he was serious. Gold  
flecks illuminated them when the grief left him for  
those all too brief times and he let himself smile and  
laugh. And when the grief caught him and the rage  
returned….The eyes of a predator. They would scare  
her if she didn't already know Wedge would never hurt  
her. But there was a fire in him and it burned bright  
in those deep brown eyes. Giving him an intensity  
that no nineteen year old man should have. Mirax  
wondered if he would look that intense while he was….  
  
Mirax threw her pillow over her head, trying to block  
the insidious thoughts that seemed to be ever creeping  
through her mind. "I'm never going to sleep tonight…" 


	2. Part 2

Disclaimer and other info...See Part 1  
  
Forbidden  
Part 2  
  
//Baby did a bad, bad thing…//  
  
"Baby Did a Bad, Bad thing" Chris Isaak//  
What was she doing? It was insane. It was stupid. It  
was insane….  
  
She had promised herself that the kiss would be the  
only one she and Wedge shared. But in the light of a  
new day….Gods, she wanted to kiss him again. Do more  
than just kiss him. During that late night of  
self-reproach she realized Wedge was no longer brother  
to her. That bond had faded the night he had told her  
of the sacrifice his parents had made to save the  
lives of others.   
  
He had visited her room late at night, eyes swollen  
from tears he would not shed in her presence. His  
voice was low, hitching occasionally as he described  
his parents last words to him, while telling her of  
the blinding fireball that had engulfed the only  
family he had had left. Tentatively, she had wrapped  
her arm around him, almost fearing the coldness that  
crept through him as he described flying her father's  
starfighter against the beings responsible for the  
tragedy that now shadowed Wedge's life. His arms had  
crept around her waist as she buried her face against  
his shoulder, knowing that he would not want a witness  
to his sorrow.   
  
They had spent the rest of the night like that,  
wrapped in each other's arms. Neither one speaking  
after Wedge forced the last few words describing his  
loss past the lump in his throat. While she had held  
him, she had not thought of him as anything but a  
being in pain, but since then…  
  
Since then, she had been noticing little details about  
him, a sure sign that she was indeed infatuated with  
her dearest friend. Little details that made  
Wedge…well, Wedge. The little scars on his hands from  
working on the ships…She'd spent far too much time  
thinking about those hands and what they could do…The  
constant shift of colors that illuminated his dark  
eyes. That dumb smirk that made her want to slap him  
whenever he said, "I told you so." The way his black  
hair curled around his collar when it managed to  
escape the tail he attempted to keep it in.   
  
Gods, she wanted to rip his hair free of its tie and  
tangle her fingers in the silken strands. Feel it  
slide between her fingers as she pulled him to her so  
that she could drown herself in the taste of him. She  
knew that it would be all too easy to lose herself in  
that experience. That was part of the reason why that  
first kiss had been so brief. She was afraid of  
losing his friendship, terrified of losing part of  
herself.   
  
Maybe she would lose herself in him. She didn't  
really care anymore. She wanted him more than she  
wanted anything, anyone, she had ever encountered.   
Her desire for him would probably ruin their  
friendship. That truly worried her. Wedge had been  
such welcomed presence in her life; she couldn't  
picture life without him being near.   
  
She should go back to her room and forget this insane  
idea. But even as she considered skulking away, she  
knew she would stay where she was. It went against  
her nature to not see where this led. And even  
without that stubborn tenacity, her hunger for him was  
steadily overriding her willpower.   
  
She HAD to kiss him again.   
  
Easier said, or thought, than done.  
  
Ever since that first kiss, Wedge had been avoiding  
her. Which meant her goal would be more difficult.   
Mirax smiled to herself, not that being more difficult  
was bad…a challenge would make her prize that much  
sweeter when she tasted it.   
  
Thanks to her father's more…unusual…business deals she  
knew corridors of space stations like Heaven's  
Crossroads one as well as she knew the insides of the  
Pulsar Skate. And THAT would be to her advantage  
while she was trying to find her elusive target.  
  
//Target? Sithspawn, I must be obsessed. I'm even  
thinking like a pilot now!//  
  
Her thoughts were stilled as she heard a familiar set  
of footsteps. Wedge traveled this corridor every  
"morning" to go to the hangar where his freighter and  
the Skate were docked. It was part of his daily  
routine, on safe ground so he usually let memory guide  
him to the hangar while he was busy figuring the  
various details of running a ship.  
  
But despite his inattention, she knew he was still a  
warrior. The blaster on his hip worried her. //He'll  
probably vape me before he realizes who grabbed him.   
He might vape me even if he knows who grabbed him. He  
might not WANT me grabbing him…Okay, no more thoughts  
like that. Just focus on your target…//  
  
Click. Click. Click. The crisp, precise sound of  
his boot heels on the durasteel floor. She risked a  
glance at him, then ducked back into her hiding place.  
Just like she expected. Wedge was focused on the  
calculations he was working on his datapad, not the  
world around him. //Datapad in his right hand. He  
can't draw his blaster.// Perfect.  
  
Click. Click. Click. Almost in range…His shadow  
fell over her. NOW!  
  
Wedge let out a startled yelp as she caught hold of  
his arm, spinning him around so that her momentum  
would propel him into the access space. She bounced  
forward, pressing her body against his. The data pad  
clattered to the floor. As she expected, he reached  
for the blaster at his hip, but her hand around his  
wrist stilled the motion.  
  
His deep brown eyes widened in recognition, causing  
him to relax slightly against her. "Mirax, what are  
you doing?"  
  
She answered him by pressing her mouth against his,  
flicking the tip of her tongue across his lips until  
they parted, allowing her to get a true taste of the  
forbidden. //Oh, Gods he tastes so good.// So much  
better than she expected, the sweet wildness almost  
overloading her senses. She felt like she was  
drinking in his passion, tasting that fire that was  
seducing her into falling in lov…All thought shattered  
as one strong hand cupped her neck, drawing her closer  
so he could suck her tongue deeper into his mouth.   
  
She melted against him as his arm slid 'round her  
waist. Mirax knew she was losing herself, but she  
didn't care. The world narrowed to the press of her  
body against his. To the warmth of his mouth and the  
sensuous rhythm of his tongue sliding against hers.   
She felt his desire, could feel it singing through the  
air. She felt it matched by the warm tension coiling  
through her. Gods, she wanted him. Wanted him to  
touch her. Wanted him to make love to her.  
  
Love….  
  
The thought forced her to stumble away from him. Her  
back contacted the wall and she was suddenly grateful  
for how narrow her hiding place was as she fell  
against it for support. One ragged breath barely  
settled her nerves enough so that she could look at  
him.   
  
And it took all of her self-control not to throw  
herself onto him again. //Can't do it. Can't do it.   
Can't do it.// A small spark of pride managed to find  
its way into her thoughts. The seemingly unshakable  
Antilles composure was shattered. He was leaning  
heavily against the wall, his dark hair falling across  
his face. His soft brown eyes were unfocused as he  
gasped for breath. The rise and fall of his chest  
guided her eyes lower…She smirked when she saw how  
obvious it was that Wedge desired her as much as she  
wanted him.  
  
Then suddenly he was moving. //Gods, if he touches me,  
I'm lost. I won't be able to say no. I'll fall…//   
He took a step forward, causing her to panic at his  
proximity. He reached out for her, "Mira…" His  
fingertips barely brushed the sleeve of her jumpsuit  
before she all but vanished from the access passageway. 


	3. Part 3

Disclaimer...See Part 1  
  
Forbidden  
Part 3  
  
//Something in your eyes keeps haunting me   
I'm trying to escape you   
And I know there ain't no way to   
To chase you from my mind …//  
  
"Painted on My Heart" The Cult//  
She was falling in love with Wedge Antilles.  
  
She hated admitting it, dreaded admitting it, but it  
was true. She was falling in love with her dearest  
friend.  
  
Mirax glared up at the ceiling as if it were the cause  
of all her turmoil, almost snarling to herself. This  
wasn't supposed to happen, but why should she be  
surprised that it did? Deep down, had she REALLY  
thought that there was nothing between them other than  
lust?   
  
When she had tentatively leaned forward to touch his  
lips with hers, had she really believed that it would  
stop there? That she could just go on with her life  
as if nothing had happened? She wasn't a fool. She  
could lie to herself for only so long. She did love  
Wedge. And she had loved him for a long time.   
  
Looking back, she knew that she had been in love with  
him before his parents died. His need and her  
willingness to support a grieving friend had just  
opened the floodgates for emotions that she had been  
carefully keeping in check.   
  
She covered her face with her hands, trying to block  
the thoughts that whirled around her mind. What the  
hell was she going to do? She was in love with Wedge  
Antilles. She could barely keep from panicking at the  
thought of being in love with the pilot. It was just  
too fresh, too overwhelming, to even consider he could  
love her.  
  
"Gods, what am I going to do?" she groaned, curling up  
in a ball. Suddenly she regretted that moment's  
indiscretion. That first kiss. Oh Gods, why had she  
started this? Why couldn't she have just ignored her  
desire for him?   
  
Because she wanted him. Pure and simple as that. She  
wanted him in her life as more than a brother. As  
more than her friend. She wanted him to love her as  
much as she loved him.  
  
But did he love her?  
  
//Foolish question, Terrik. Wedge is not the sort of  
man that would play with a woman. You've seen the way  
he looks at you. He wants you. And you've seen  
something more than friendship and lust in those  
gorgeous eyes.//  
  
She hoped, she dreaded, that she had sensed the same  
emotions from him. Hoping that perhaps he loved her  
as much as she loved him. Dreading that their love  
for each other might result in the loss of someone who  
meant so much to her.  
  
She threw the pillow over her head to muffle her  
scream of frustration. She loved him. He loved her.   
Why couldn't it be as simple as that?  
  
# # #  
  
//I wonder if she knows what she's doing to my  
sleeping cycles. Knowing Mirax, she probably doesn't  
give a damn.// Wedge stretched out on the mattress  
until his muscles protested against the movement. The  
last access tunnel Mirax had pulled him into had been  
almost too small for the two of them. Which had made  
things much more enjoyable. The press of her body  
against his was one of the reasons why he was still  
awake. The physical and mental ache for her now a  
constant in his life. //She wouldn't care or she'd  
find it humorous that I'm spending ANOTHER sleepless  
night because of her game.//  
  
It wasn't a game and both of them knew it. There was  
too much emotion involved for it to be nothing more  
than a game of sexual tag. Friendship and desire and  
love. Love had always bound them together, but like  
everything else in the universe, it was evolving into  
something new.   
  
The deepening of their friendship was impossible not  
to notice. He saw it every time she bolted from the  
little niches she seemed to love to drag him into.   
Her eyes danced with mischief each time she pulled him  
close, then something would change and longing would  
illuminate her expression. Sometimes she would risk a  
gentle touch, truly exposing herself in that gesture.   
Or the passion of her kiss would be overcome by  
something sweeter, more enduring.  
  
He would see an almost helpless yearning that tore at  
his heart. He wanted to pull her into his arms and  
hold her until she realized that he would not leave  
her. Would never leave her. How could he leave  
someone who was so close to him? She was the one  
person who understood all aspects of him and was  
accepting of the darkness that had the potential to  
obliterate his soul.   
  
But he knew he couldn't act on that desire. She  
wasn't ready. And even if she was, Mirax was not one  
for subtly. Nothing short of a full attack would make  
her realize that he was in love with her...  
  
He was in love with Mirax Terrik…  
  
Slowly, Wedge smiled, knowing that it was the truth.   
It explained so much. Why he had never really been  
interested in any of the women who had made advances  
towards him. Why he had always felt like he was  
waiting for something. Now he knew that he hadn't  
been waiting for something, he had been waiting for  
someone to realize her feelings. Waiting for her to  
realize that she loved him just as much as he loved  
her.  
  
How could he NOT be in love with her? She was  
intelligent and beautiful and...//Gods, I am  
besotted.// He chuckled, trying not to think of how  
close he had been to her earlier that day. Of how  
well her body had fit against his. //I might be crazy  
but this is the best damn rush I've ever felt.//   
  
He couldn't describe it. Maybe if you could have a  
dogfight while in hyperspace, the sensation MIGHT  
begin to describe the wild pleasure he felt while  
playing these love games with Mirax. It was too  
exhilarating for words. It was more addictive than  
glitterstim. He wanted her. Craved her. And was  
terrified that when the games of "hide and seek" were  
over, somehow he would lose her. He didn't want their  
play to end, but the games could not continue  
indefinitely. Sooner or later, one of them would have  
to make a move.   
  
But would that move cost him the woman he loved? The  
person who truly understood every quirk of his  
personality and loved him despite of those same  
weaknesses. He didn't want to act, wanted to pretend  
that their games could go on forever. But he sensed  
that if someone didn't act soon, then their  
relationship would grow so strained that nothing would  
salvage it.  
  
And then he truly would be alone.  
  
Wedge quickly turned his thoughts to more pleasant  
topics. Like how to convince an overly stubborn  
smuggler that she should stop hiding and show her true  
feelings. //Just think of it in terms of tactics.   
What would be the next logical step?//  
  
Suddenly, he knew the perfect way to begin his  
campaign. It wasn't logical but it would definitely  
make her realize how much he cared about her. It  
would be risky. It would probably get him vaporized  
by Booster when he found out what Wedge had done, but  
it would be worth it.  
  
Wedge grinned to himself. Booster might kill him, but  
Wedge would die a happy man. 


	4. Part 4

Disclaimer...still on Part 1  
  
Forbidden  
Part 4  
  
//Can't see the light  
'Cause I'm in too deep.   
Over my head… //   
  
//"In 2 Deep" The Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band//  
The white letters on her data pad were almost blinding  
against the green background screen. Mirax squinted  
at the garish color scheme and reread the message  
Wedge had sent her.  
  
//Need help with the Skate's hyperdrive. Come ASAP.   
Wedge.//  
  
Simple, to the point. As his messages always were.   
  
Then why did she have this uneasy feeling as she  
headed towards the hanger? Like she was about to fall  
into a trap. One of the maintenance corridors that  
she had pulled Wedge into earlier in the week caught  
her eye. //Maybe that's why I'm nervous. 'Cause I  
expect Wedge to drag me off into one of those access  
tunnels. Not that I'd mind it if he DID drag me off  
into one of those little niches.//  
  
She was almost disappointed when she walked past the  
passageway and Wedge didn't appear. //Don't be  
foolish, we have work to do. He's not going to play  
hide and seek with you while the Skate needs  
repairs.//   
  
The hanger was almost completely shrouded in darkness.  
A faint trail of light spilled across the ferrocrete,  
originating from the Pulsar Skate. The night-like  
gloom was unsettling, especially after her uneventful  
but nerve-wracking gauntlet past the maintenance  
corridors.  
  
She hurried through the twilight, wanting to find out  
what was wrong with the Skate and get it fixed as soon  
as possible. After her sleepless night of self-doubt,  
she wanted to keep as much distance between Wedge and  
herself as possible. Perhaps, with distance, her  
feelings for the pilot would lessen. //Foolish hope,  
girl. Nothing's going to stop you from loving him.//  
  
Why couldn't she just accept her feelings for Wedge?   
Maybe with acceptance, she could find a way to tell  
him how she felt. And then, maybe, just maybe, she  
would have a chance with him.  
  
She expected him to be waiting for her at the boarding  
ramp, but instead, she was greeted by shadows.   
"Wedge?" Her voice echoed faintly, making her feel  
even more alone in the deserted hanger. Tentatively  
she crept up the ramp, looking around for any trace of  
the pilot. "Is this some kind of joke?"  
  
"Wedge..." Dragging a hand through her dark hair, she  
squinted into the darkness that dwelled inside the  
Skate, looking for any sign of life. She stepped  
inside, searching for the pilot.  
  
She let out a quiet shriek as the shadows coalesced  
into human form. The cry echoed hollowly through the  
ship, adding to the haunting impression of Wedge  
appearing like a wraith from the darkness. "Wedge?"   
Her voice was high pitched, almost panicked as she  
fought to calm her racing heart.   
  
She expected him to speak, but he remained silent,  
stepping forward until he had backed Mirax into the  
metal wall behind her. Swallowing hard, she managed a  
weak smile, "Is this payback for my earlier games?"  
  
The young man shook his head, causing his long hair to  
spill free of its tie. Suddenly desire overrode the  
faint traces of fear that lingered in her system; she  
fought the urge to twist the dark locks through her  
fingers. "Nothing so petty," Wedge all but purred.   
Mirax felt herself trembling at the sound of his  
voice. Husky and soft as he brushed a lock of her  
dark hair out of her eyes. She was acutely aware of  
his hands on her body. The one that had brushed her  
hair behind her ear now cradled her cheek while the  
other rested on her hip. And acutely aware of the  
warmth radiating from his body, of those brown eyes  
trying to absorb every detail of her face.   
  
Swallowing hard, she barely managed remain calm.   
Gods, she wanted him so much. "You seem pretty good  
at this for a nerfherder-turned-smuggler."   
  
"I've been thinking 'bout this almost constantly since  
that first kiss." If possible, he leaned in closer,  
his breath caressing her neck, gently moving her black  
hair. "I have a good imagination, Mirax." Her knees  
threatened to buckle as he flicked his tongue against  
her skin. She felt him smile against her throat as  
her hands tangled in his tunic. "Want to see how  
imaginative I can be?"  
  
Before she could answer, he captured her lips with  
his, exploring them with little nips as his hands  
explored her body. She trembled with desire. Gods  
how she wanted him. She had never thought it possible  
to hunger for someone this much. But Wedge seemed to  
have a gift for heightening her desire to levels she  
had never experienced before. He was driving her mad  
with these little touches, with his gentle teasing of  
her lips.   
  
Her hands eagerly tangled in his long hair, drawing  
him closer so she could feel the hard press of his  
body against hers. Gods, she couldn't get enough of  
him. It was like addiction; this wild hunger that  
pulsed through her body as his tongue ravaged her  
mouth.   
  
Slowly, he pulled away, gasping for breath as he held  
her steady. She rested her head on his shoulder,  
trying desperately to slow the racing of her heart.   
He looked into her whiskey eyes. "Do you want to  
continue playing games, or do you want more?"  
  
Mirax swallowed thickly, trying to gather enough  
concentration to form words. "I…" Her breath hitched  
as she tried to calm the desire pulsing through her  
veins. It was impossible with him so close to her.   
  
She gently pushed him away. He moved back a few  
steps; his grin widening when he realized how heavily  
she leaned against the wall behind her. She wondered  
how he could seem so calm after such a kiss. If he  
could pretend to be under control, then so could she.   
"What are you planning, Antilles? Ravishing me on my  
father's ship?" She tried to sound casual despite the  
hunger raging through her.  
  
"Nope," he answered, taking her hand. "Got something  
better planned."   
  
Wedge gently led her towards the cockpit, ignoring her  
half-hearted protests. He guided her into the  
copilot's chair then settled himself into the pilot's  
seat.   
  
Mirax felt her jaw drop as Wedge began the pre-flight  
sequences. "What the hell are you doing?"  
  
Wedge gave her an arrogant grin. "Borrowing the  
Skate. Booster'll never know."  
  
"You are out of your mind!" she almost shouted. Wedge  
was oblivious to her protests. //He's mad. He's  
finally lost his mind.// Mirax rested her elbows on  
her knees, head in her hands as she contemplated her  
father's wrath. "Dad's going to kill us. Do you  
realize that? He's going to murder us."  
  
"Don't worry so much, Mir. I've taken care of  
everything. Booster won't even know the Skate's gone."  
  
She looked up at him, doubt evident in her amber eyes.  
"And how did you manage that one, nerfherder?"  
  
He shook his head, chuckling as he finished the last  
of the preflight checks. "You're never going to let  
me forget that I herded nerfs, are you?"  
  
"And if you are lucky, you'll be a nerfherder again.   
Better a nerfherder than killed by my father."   
  
Wedge swiveled the pilot's chair around to look at  
Mirax. "Let me repeat this one more time. Don't.   
Worry."  
  
Mirax eyes him suspiciously, then nodded her  
submission, settling into her seat as Wedge flew them  
towards whatever destination he had planned.  
  
# # #  
  
From the control center of the Heaven's Crossroads,  
Booster watched his ship smoothly glide into space.   
There was no denying it, Wedge was an excellent pilot.  
He handled the freighter as if it were as compact as  
the snubfighters he adored.   
  
Booster had known for weeks that his daughter was  
falling in love with Wedge Antilles. She might have  
been able to hide her feelings from the boy, but she  
had not been able to conceal them from her father.   
Booster had seen her discomfort, her fear that he  
would not approve of her choice.  
  
He chuckled at that. Booster had been hoping that his  
stubborn daughter would see how much Wedge cared for  
her. And he had been hoping Antilles would find the  
courage to show Mirax how much he loved her. Terrik  
hadn't expected that show of affection to be in the  
form of theft.   
  
It was audacious. It bordered insanity. But it  
suited Wedge perfectly.   
  
Booster didn't worry about his ship, he knew Antilles  
was a capable pilot. And the thought of worrying  
about his only child never entered his mind. He knew  
that Wedge would never let anything happen to Mirax.  
  
Actually, Wedge's actions could not have come at a  
better time. The informants that Booster kept on  
payroll had warned him that CorSec was closing in on  
him. Soon, he would be either incarcerated or dead.   
When he was younger, he would have fought against the  
beings that hunted him, but now…now he had a daughter  
to care for. And he would not pass up the chance to  
see what future she created for herself. Even if it  
meant that he would end up in the spice mines.  
  
He hated the thought of leaving his daughter alone in  
a harsh galaxy, but better to leave her for a few  
years than for an eternity. And, if Wedge was as  
savvy as he gave him credit for, Mirax would not be  
alone while Booster was away.  
  
As the Skate disappeared into the star-strewn  
darkness, he wished the pilot all the luck in the  
galaxy… 


	5. Part 5

Disclaimer...Again, see Part 1  
  
Forbidden  
Part 5  
  
//If we had this night together  
If we had a moment to ourselves  
If we had this night together, then we'd be  
Unstoppable//  
  
//"Unstoppable" The Calling//  
When her father's voice did not boom across the comm  
system, Mirax began to relax minutely. When the Skate  
was not blasted into spacedust, she began to feel  
confident that Wedge truly had planned his theft  
carefully. She had never thought of Wedge as a  
strategist, but it seemed that perhaps he did have the  
gift. Not that she would ever admit that to him…  
  
They remained silent as the Skate made a quick jump  
through hyperspace, each casting uncertain glances to  
the other. Wedge's confidence never seemed to waver,  
which allowed Mirax to settle into her chair and enjoy  
the view, which did not include the starlines blazing  
past the viewport.   
  
He was handsome, no denying that. With sharp features  
that were softened by his dark hair. And a confidence  
that, if possessed by anyone else, would have been  
arrogance surrounded him, illuminated him. His  
intensity was almost blinding and impossible to deny.   
But why deny it? She was in love with him. No matter  
how much she denied it, that fact would not be  
changed. But that knowledge did not ease her doubt.   
Did he feel the same way about her? //If he didn't,  
why would he go through all of this? If he just  
lusted after me, why not just sneak into my room?//  
  
Their flight took them to a small planet that was  
tinted in shades green and tawny gold. Mirax caught a  
brief glimpse of windswept grasslands as the Skate's  
landing lights washed over the gently rolling plain.   
//What is he planning…// But her "abductor" remained  
silent, focusing on settling the ship gracefully onto  
the sod. As soon as Wedge finished the last of his  
checks, he offered her his hand.   
  
She wanted to make some sort of comment, disguise her  
sudden shyness with sarcasm, but could not find the  
words. A blush crept over her cheeks as his fingers  
brushed against hers. His confidence slipped for a  
moment, showing her an uncertainty that matched her  
own. That glance steadied her, showed her that Wedge  
truly did care for her.   
  
They exited the Skate in silence, pausing for a moment  
as Wedge picked up a box hidden behind his seat. She  
followed him slowly, trying to quell the sudden wave  
of nervousness that fluttered through her stomach.   
Wedge paused halfway down the ramp, the lights from  
the ship sliding over his dark hair, illuminating the  
features she had memorized what seemed like ages ago.   
  
But somehow, he seemed different. Wedge…but not  
quite…Wedge. The same lines defined his face, but he  
seemed to be a different person. The flutter of  
nervousness threatened to become an entire squadron of  
TIE fighters. She almost bolted back into the Skate…  
  
Then he smiled…   
  
That smile put her completely at ease. It was such a  
welcome, mundane sight that Mirax knew that things  
would be all right. She was certain that her father  
would vaporize them when they returned to the  
Crossroads, but at least they would die together.  
  
If Wedge noticed her moment of panic, he seemed  
unaffected by her uncertainty. Instead he made a  
grand production of inspecting the area near the  
Skate; looking up at the sky, carefully checking the  
ground, looking over his shoulder to make sure she  
wasn't waiting impatiently behind him. Finally he set  
the box onto the sod and began unpacking.  
  
A brightly patterned blanket was unfurled and settled  
onto the ground. Another blanket was placed atop the  
box. "In case it gets cold," he explained as he keyed  
the Skate to power down.   
  
The lights faded slowly, allowing the night to creep  
around them. The stars and twin moons above washed  
the plains with a faint silver sheen. Shadows and  
light mingled into a world that she rarely ever  
experienced. Planets, even solid ground not made of  
metal, was a rarity to her. As was the man standing  
beside her. The man who had suddenly went from best  
friend to…to what? Potential lover? Was that what  
they both wanted? If that was what was meant for  
them, why was this moment so confusing? Why did it  
feel like they had just met instead of knowing each  
other for a lifetime?  
  
She shivered, trying to find words to dispel the  
nervous tension growing between them. //Stop  
thinking, girl. You're starting to scare yourself…//  
  
She ALMOST yelped when he suddenly bowed low to her,  
like some courtier from Coruscant. "I'd offer you a  
dance, Mistress Terrik, but there's no music. And I  
think I'd trample your feet."  
  
She smiled, taking his arm as he escorted her to the  
blanket. "So the nerfs didn't teach you to dance?"  
  
He gave her an innocent look that she knew he was  
about to con her. "Actually the nerfs did teach me to  
dance. Why do you think I'm so horrible at it?"  
  
"Ugh…I stepped right into that one, didn't I?" She  
settled herself onto the blanket, catching him off  
guard by slipping her hand around his wrist and  
pulling him down beside her.  
  
He pretended to glare at her indignantly. "Are you  
ever going to get tired of dragging me around?"  
  
"Nope," she grinned. "I love having you around."  
  
Love…The word seems to linger in the air. Mirax felt  
Wedge grow still beside her as he slowly absorbed the  
word. "I…I love having you around too…" She watched  
him intently for a moment. He seemed almost  
disappointed by her words. Turning away from her, he  
began rummaging in the box. Guilt and worry began  
nibbling at the back of her mind. Maybe she should  
say something more…more..affectionate…//Maybe you  
should just quit being a coward and tell him the  
truth!//  
  
"I…um…packed some food…Thought you might like a picnic  
or something…but I'm too nervous to eat."   
  
The words jarred her out of her self-reproach. And  
made her realize he was just as nervous as she was.   
She glanced at him sidelong and smacked his arm  
lightly. "The great Wedge Antilles nervous? Oh  
please…that's impossible."  
  
He ran a hand through his dark hair. Mirax found  
herself again fantasizing about the feel of his hair  
against her skin. Swallowing hard, she glanced away,  
hoping he hadn't noticed…and paradoxically, hoping he  
had noticed her excitement. A little flash of  
disappointment whispered through her as he spoke.   
"I'm not that great Mir. I'm not going to become  
anything important."  
  
"Don't be so critical of yourself, Wedge. You are  
destined for greatness…"   
  
He leaned forward, brushing his fingertips across her  
cheek. "Sometimes, I think you're the only one that  
sees that in me."  
  
He was so close…not just physically, but  
mentally…spiritually. Her breath hitched for a moment  
before she felt herself plunging forward. Excitement  
bubbled through her veins, evaporating away what  
nervousness remained. This moment felt too good…too  
right…for it this to be the wrong choice. She wanted  
him…Wanted him so much…  
  
His lips burned against hers, causing her to gasp.   
His tongue flicked against hers, teasing,  
tormenting…Oh Gods, he tasted so good. Her hands  
crept up to his hair, fingers flexing as the softness  
of it brushed against her skin. Vaguely, she realized  
his arms were around her, pulling her tight against  
his body….Somehow, her dazzled brain realized HE was  
reacting to HER just as strongly as SHE was reacting  
to HIM. Her courage found her, giving her the daring  
needed to spring forward, causing Wedge to fall  
backwards.  
  
Pulling her atop him…Just as she hoped…  
  
There was a moment of confusion, then she was settled  
comfortably against him. He stared up at her, hands  
resting on her hips as he gave her a bemused look.   
"You know, I had been planning on taking things slow."  
  
Should they go slow? It would give her time to think.  
Time to give herself a thousand excuses why she  
should not love this incredible being that was such a  
vital part of her life. Time to say "no" when she  
truly wanted to say "yes." Which would lead to a  
lifetime of regret…A life without Wedge Antilles…  
  
Leaning down, she kissed him softly. "Do you want to  
stop?"  
  
His hands slid under her shirt, gliding over her  
stomach. "No…I just didn't want you to do something  
you might regret later."  
  
She stiffened, glaring down at him, then began  
wiggling against him. When he groaned, she gave him a  
wicked grin. "Will you regret it in the morning,  
Antilles?"  
  
He caught hold of the waistband of her trousers and  
rolled her onto her back. Suddenly they were only a  
breath apart, their bodies molded against each other.   
Mirax felt herself begin to tremble…Oh Gods…  
  
"Will you regret it, Terrik?" For a moment it seemed  
that the entire Galaxy centered around the man in her  
arms. "Would you regret loving me?" He held himself  
absolutely still above her. His eyes shadowed, the  
darkness and his mood, veiling his thoughts from her.   
"Do you love me?"  
  
"Does it matter if I do?" The words spilled out of  
her before she had a chance to stop them.   
  
He rolled away from her, stretching out beside her.   
Staring up at the sky, acting as if she didn't exist.   
"Wedge…I…" Gently, she touched his shoulder, cursing  
herself as he twitched away from her. "Wedge,  
please." He ignored her, focusing on the stars above.  
Anger growled through her voice. "Dammit, Wedge this  
isn't easy for me. I'm scared and nervous and I…"  
  
He turned his head, staring intently at her face.   
"You what, Mir? Was this all a game to you? You just  
wanted to see how frustrated you could make me?" He  
turned back to the stars. "If that was what you  
wanted, you did a damn good job of it."  
  
Her fingers moved lightly over his shirt. Again his  
muscles twitched against that touch. "Wedge, I…I…"   
//Admit the truth, Terrik or you really will lose  
him.// "I'm afraid I'm going to lose your  
friendship."  
  
His voice was low, masking all emotion. "Is that all  
we are? Friends?"  
  
"I…I…" Why did this have to be so difficult? "I want  
us to be more than just friends. But I don't want to  
lose you." The words jarred against the ache that was  
building in her throat. "I love you. I can't stand  
the thought of losing you just because of a kiss that  
I probably shouldn't have…"  
  
Suddenly he sat up, pressing a finger against her  
lips. "Shhh…" The words stopped, as did her jumbled  
fear. "Whatever we do, or don't do tonight…Whatever  
happens, we will still be friends. I promise."  
  
Her lips quirked beneath the pressure of his finger.   
She almost…ALMOST…gave into the urge to run her tongue  
over his skin. Instead, she pulled away, tilting her  
head to one side as she studied him. "You know, women  
usually ask about love in this situation. Not men."  
  
He chuckled and stretched out on the blanket; Mirax  
settled next to him, curling up against his side.   
"Most men don't have to deal with your father. Do you  
REALLY think I'd risk becoming a living target for  
Booster if our feelings were nothing but lust?"   
  
Mirax chuckled and snuggled closer to Wedge. "He'd  
only maim you…"  
  
"Maiming…you almost make that sound fun." His fingers  
lightly traced a path down her back, sending pleasant  
tingles down her spine.   
  
Words faded away, leaving only silence and the  
nerve-wracking comfort of love unspoken. No…not true  
silence, Mirax realized. The world around them was  
filled with noises. It was starling how loud silence  
could be. The soft sighs of the world around them.   
The slight hiss of the winds that occasionally  
whispered through the valley. The faint whooshing  
sound of blades of grass rasping against each other.   
She had been to Corellia many times, but never to its  
wilds. She sat up on one elbow, looking down at  
Wedge. "Is this what it was like? Quiet and loud at  
the same time?"  
  
He gave her a lazy, wistful smile. "The best nights  
were like this. The air was warm and soft. The grass  
moving quietly in the wind. The stars seemed close  
enough to touch." A quiet sigh escaped him. "Out  
there," he gestured up to the sky. "You forget how  
beautiful the stars are. They become like…" He  
shrugged. "Walls, I guess. You just don't pay  
attention to them anymore."  
  
Mirax chuckled, trailing her fingers over his chest.   
"Then suddenly you realize that there's something  
incredible out there but you were just too blind to  
notice it."  
  
His lips twitched as he fought the urge to grin.   
"Something like that."  
  
She leaned down, brushing a soft kiss against his  
lips. As she pulled away, he captured her face  
between his hands, cupping her jaw gently. "I love  
you, Mirax."  
  
She thought those words would frighten her, make her  
want to run away from her dearest of friends. Instead  
they made her want to get closer to him. Made her  
want to never leave him. "I love you too, Wedge  
Antilles."  
  
His kiss was soft and warm, far more erotic than the  
ones they had shared during their games. His lips  
glided across hers as his hands slowly began  
unbuttoning her shirt.   
She reveled in the taste of the man she now knew that  
she loved. She could still taste his passion in that  
soft kiss, but there was something richer that added a  
never experienced. She couldn't name it. Couldn't  
define it…But it was there, filling her senses,  
steadying her fluttering heart. "I need you, Mir," he  
murmured before he began nibbling on her throat.   
  
The last button fell open. One eyebrow quirked  
upwards as he slid her shirt down her shoulders.   
"Plain white cotton? I thought you'd be more of a  
lace or silk type of girl…"  
  
She lightly batted his hands away, working the clasp  
of her bra. "We were supposed to be working on the  
Skate. I wasn't really planning for you to see my  
underwear." Mirax paused, ignoring the nervousness  
that whispered through her as she felt the cotton fall  
away. //What if he doesn't like how I look?//   
  
"Is the rest plain white cotton?  
  
"What?" The question shook her from her nervousness.   
"The rest of what?"  
  
"Your underwear. Are your panties plain white cotton  
too?"  
  
//That annoying nerf!// "Why don't you look and see?"  
she shot back.   
  
He grinned, sliding his hands up her sides, sliding  
beneath the cotton, gently easing her bra from her  
skin. "I plan to…" He looked up at her innocently  
while gently teasing her breasts. "//IF// you want me  
to show you how imaginative I can be." He watched her  
thoughtfully, waiting for any sign of uncertainty.   
"Do you want to see how imaginative I can be?"  
  
"Yes…" She would have been annoyed by how breathless  
her voice sounded, but the sensation of his fingers  
dancing over her skin drove away any thoughts of  
pride. Especially since Wedge seemed to be determined  
to show her how imaginative he could be…  
  
# # #  
  
He was amazing. The words did not do him justice, but  
Mirax knew none that could describe him. Gentle and  
sure, sweet and luxurious as he slowly but steadily  
drove her to delicious madness. The intensity of his  
passion seared through her soul. Captured her heart  
and demanding that she love him with an intensity that  
matched his own.   
  
And she did love him. If she could not deny it as  
they watched the stars, it was impossible to deny it  
as his hands and lips exquisitely memorized every  
detail of her body.   
  
She could not get enough of him. Each taste, each  
touch, made her want him even more. Her desire for him  
went far beyond simple cravings, beyond the exquisite  
hunger that ravaged her senses.   
  
Passion and pain blended for a moment, then the  
intensity of those velvety eyes ensnared her. The  
feel of him wound its way through her senses,  
eclipsing every thought, stilling every doubt. Her  
world coalesced into the maelstrom of fire that seemed  
to devour her with every touch.   
  
She felt like she was falling, being swept into  
something more exquisite than she imagined possible.   
She had been right…She could drown in that intensity.   
But she didn't…His passion carried her upward, driving  
her beyond her simple fears, until she was sure she  
touched the stars above…   
  
# # #  
  
"Love you." Mirax wasn't sure who had spoken those  
words. She felt like she was floating above her body.  
Warm and safe and relaxed. She didn't THINK it had  
been her. She wasn't even sure she was able to make  
noise, let alone speak…  
  
The last few minutes came rushing back. A blush crept  
over her cheeks. //Correction, I CAN make noise.   
Thank the Force we weren't at the Station!//  
  
"Love you too," a muffled voice answered. Since she  
felt Wedge's lips brush against her neck, she decided  
she must have spoken first.   
  
Slowly, he lifted his head a few centimeters. A  
concerned look crossed his features. "Did I…er…Did  
you…" He took a deep breath and shakily raked his  
hand through his hair. "Did I hurt you?"  
  
"No, Wedge…" He gave her a doubting look, causing her  
to sigh and wrap her arms around him. He shifted, a  
bit, allowing her to breathe more freely. "Okay…It  
hurt a little bit, but it was worth it."   
  
Wedge nodded, smiling almost shyly at her before  
reaching for the virtually ignored picnic box. He  
caught hold of the discarded blanket and wrapped it  
around them. The wind tickled their exposed skin.   
She shivered. Wedge pulled the fabric tighter against  
their skin before relaxing against her. Idly, she  
rubbed his shoulder, amazed by what had just happened.  
//Wedge…me…Me and Wedge…// She couldn't help smiling  
at the memory. //He was right…He IS imaginative…//  
  
Vaguely, Mirax wondered if her father had realized the  
Skate was missing…and the consequences of that theft.   
A huge yawn interrupted her thoughts. //Later…we'll  
deal with it later…Together…// The thought was a  
comfort, as was the warmth of the man beside her, both  
seducing her into peaceful dreams.  
  
# # #  
  
From one of the maintenance corridors, Booster watched  
his daughter exit the Skate. She stood in the hanger,  
tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for Wedge.   
"Hurry up," she whispered.   
  
"Or what?" he countered. She winced as his voice  
echoed through the space.  
  
"Be quiet. Someone might catch us!"  
  
Wedge gave her appraising look. "I could catch you."   
"Could not," she countered, bouncing on the balls of  
her feet.  
  
"Could too."  
  
She hopped forward, giving Wedge a quick kiss. "Catch  
me if you can."  
  
Booster smiled as the pilot lunged forward, pretending  
to chase after Mirax. They circled the Skate once  
before running past the corridor, never noticing the  
being that had been watching their game. Booster  
smiled at their antics, knowing that Mirax couldn't  
have chosen a better protector…  
  
Not that the girl needed someone to protect her…  
  
She had found a rogue, but a good one. The thought  
was a comfort, one that would keep him alive when  
CorSec finally did catch him…  
  
Of course, they wouldn't have to know he approved of  
the match right away. It was best if he let them fret  
a little. Let them think he wouldn't agree with their  
choice. If Mirax thought he actually liked the  
situation, the girl might be stubborn enough to end  
things before they even got started. But if he let  
them THINK that what they were doing was forbidden,  
then things MIGHT work out as he hoped…  
  
After all, what is forbidden is always the most  
tempting 


End file.
